About 15% of older adults have depression but half they don't get care albeit depression in older adults is treatable. Depression can be often overlooked in older adults because it may be viewed as a symptom of a different condition (e.g. fatigue, abdominal pain, headache, confusion, memory loss). Depression may also be mistaken as a part of “normal aging.”
Low drive — Could it's a symbol of Depression?
“Change in drive may be a key symptom we glance at when deciding if someone fits the diagnosis for major depressive episodes,” Payne says. “A primary symptom of depression is that the inability to enjoy belongings you normally enjoy, like sex. People with depression even have decreased energy, feel badly about themselves and might view their partners through a negative filter, all of which impacts drive.”
Other symptoms of depression include feelings of sadness, appetite or weight changes, decreased energy and trouble concentrating. Talk to a doctor if you have been experiencing these symptoms. Treatment can help you manage depression.
A depression-related sexual slump is usually temporary. So if you’re dealing with depression, you don’t have to resign yourself to a sexless existence.
How to Maintain Your drive , albeit you've got Depression
Even if you’ve been diagnosed with major clinical depression , it’s possible to take care of a healthy sex life. Payne offers several tips:
Get help for the depression - Payne recommends a combination of antidepressants and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps treat depression by teaching people to recognize and reframe unhealthy thought patterns. Though this combination is very effective, it can take time to find the right balance, since some antidepressants can cause a reduced sex drive. “Your doctor might need to fiddle with finding the right medication for you. And they can take up to two months to work,” she says. Common antidepressant medications include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (serotonin is a neurotransmitter that affects mood) and bupropion, which affects neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine in addition to serotonin.
Keep doing it - Even if sex is that the last item on your mind, it’s important to stay those flames burning. “Sometimes I write prescriptions for my patients that tell them to travel home and roll in the hay with their partner,” Payne says. “If you don’t do it, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: You’ll do it less and less. Having sex increases the chances that you’ll return to a regular sex life once you feel better.” Plus, she says, intimacy might give you a mental break from the depression.
Don’t compare yourself to others - There’s no “right” amount of sex. “Some 80-year-olds have sex multiple times per week. Some 20-somethings might have sex once a month,” she says. Do what feels right for you and your relationship.
Get buy-in from your partner - It can be difficult to recognize depression as a valid reason for decreased sex drive, Payne says, because mental illness is still stigmatized. It’s also invisible, unlike, say, a broken leg. “People don’t see depression as a significant illness,” she says. “I try to educate about how serious it is. I compare it to a medical illness, like diabetes. If your partner was having trouble sexually thanks to diabetes, you’d be understanding. Think about it from that perspective.”
Redefine intimacy - You don’t need a hot and steamy tangle within the sheets to reap the advantages of an in depth physical relationship. If you’re not up for going all the way — or even part of the way — simply holding hands, snuggling or laughing together is helpful.
Making Forgiveness Part of Your Life
Forgiveness is a choice, Swartz says. “You are choosing to supply compassion and empathy to the one that wronged you.” the subsequent steps can assist you develop a more forgiving attitude—and enjoy better emotional and physical health.
Reflect and remember.
That includes the events themselves, and also how you reacted, how you felt, and the way the anger and hurt have affected you since.
Empathize with the other person.
For instance, if your spouse grew up in an alcoholic family, then anger once you have too many glasses of wine could be more understandable, says Swartz.
Simply forgiving someone because you think that that you've got no other alternative or because you think your religion requires it's going to be enough to bring some healing. But one study found that folks whose forgiveness came partially from understanding that nobody is ideal were ready to resume a traditional relationship with the opposite person, even if that person never apologized. Those who only forgave in an attempt to salvage the connection aroused with a worse relationship.
Let go of expectations.
An apology may not change your relationship with the other person or elicit an apology from her. If you don’t expect either, you won’t be disappointed.
Decide to forgive.
Once you create that choice, seal it with an action. If you don’t feel you'll ask the one that wronged you, write on your forgiveness during a journal or maybe mention it to somebody else in your life whom you trust.
The act of forgiving includes forgiving yourself. For instance, if your spouse had an affair, recognize that the affair isn't a mirrored image of your worth.
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